December 2013 | Fanboys Anonymous

Superior Carnage Returns with Deadpool in His Sights

Posted by Orion Petitclerc - Tuesday, December 31, 2013

As 2013 comes to a close, I reflect back on all of the awesome and sad moments in my fandoms throughout the year. With Venom and symbiotes in particular, we saw Flash Thompson, a.k.a. Agent Venom, make Philadelphia his new home; join the Thunderbolts; battle against the Venom symbiote's old host, Eddie Brock (a.k.a. Toxin); birth a new symbiotic sidekick, Mania; and survive past the end of his monthly ongoing series in a battle against the Superior Spider-Man. We also saw Cletus Kasady, a.k.a. Carnage, lobotomized at the end of "Minimum Carnage," lose his symbiote to the Wizard and his new Frightful Four, and summarily regained his symbiote and his mind at the end of Superior Carnage. Outside of the comics, fans were delighted with playable Venom and Carnage characters in the LEGO Marvel Superheroes game and blown away at the official announcement of an upcoming Venom spin-off film tied to Sony Pictures' Amazing Spider-Man film franchise.

Catch up on Superior Carnage and read the comics on the Marvel Comics app
How can 2014 top the ups and downs of 2013 in the symbiote fandom? Well, Marvel revealed Agent Venom will be joining the Guardians of the Galaxy in time for a mission to the homeworld of the symbiotes. They also announced Cullen Bunn's return to the world of symbiotes in Superior Carnage Annual, in which Kasady—now fully recovered from his lobotomy thanks to his temporary exposure to the symbiote before SpOck (the Superior Spider-Man) separated them again—escapes from confinement to reunite with his other. Yesterday, Comic Book Resources (CBR) revealed an exclusive look at a few uncolored and unlettered pages by artist Kim Jacinto from the upcoming annual, along with an interview with Bunn.

Bunn realizes that just because Kasady is Carnage again doesn't mean he will be restoring the status quo.
"This story helps Carnage redefine his mission statement (if someone like Carnage can actually have a mission statement) and refocus on being the violent mass murderer he was meant to be," he says. In the recent past (post-resurrection), writers like Zeb Wells, Christopher Yost, and even Bunn tried to fix Carnage by making him into some sort of evil mastermind (Carnage: Family Feud leading into Carnage U.S.A.) or consort with other evil masterminds ("Minimum Carnage").

Watch Cletus Kasady become Carnage in Spider-Man, the Animated Series: The Venom Saga, on DVD
Cletus Kasady has had some weird redesigns, but this one is almost fitting.
I actually welcomed the character's evolution at first, seeing it as a fresh start to what felt like a broken record player repeating the same tune over and over. As time went on, though, I realized that, deep down, I still pined for the good ol' Carnage we all knew and loved from the '90s. Well, it sounds like Bunn came to the same conclusion, too:
I've always called this issue "Carnage: Homecoming." That's what it's all about: Bringing Carnage home, back to the brass tacks of the character. When Carnage first burst onto the scene, he was a servant of chaos and disorder. Over time, he went through a lot of changes. He started to form plans that went beyond mayhem and murder. And it never worked out for him. Now, Cletus and the symbiote have been torn away from one another, so Carnage wants to go back to what he's best at—killing randomly.
Read about the new Spider-Island in the Superior Spider-Man by Dan Slott and Humberto Ramos

Read Deadpool comics by Cullen Bunn on Comixology
The collective, initial fan reaction: "HOLY SHIT!"
Not to return to Carnage's old, stale ways, however, Bunn recognizes that he needs to somehow shine a new light on the character's classic representation. To respond to this, it looks as though Bunn will be sharing ideas with Dan Slott and Christos Gage about Kasady's relationship with the symbiote, specifically concerning a recent revelation about Thompson's relationship with his symbiote in the pages of The Superior Spider-Man #24: "Going into the annual, the physical bond between Cletus and the Carnage symbiote has been severed. But we'll see that their connection goes beyond the host/symbiote dynamic. The question becomes—can they survive without one another?"

As if the new info and art from the annual weren't enough to keep me and my fellow symbiote fans giddy for 2014, CBR and Bunn dropped another geek bomb today with the announcement of an upcoming Deadpool vs Carnage four-issue limited series in April. Bunn has risen in fan popularity with his recent Deadpool works with Marvel, including Deadpool Kills the Marvel Universe, Deadpool Killustrated, and Deadpool Kills Deadpool. Add his popularity with symbiote fans from his work with Venom and the general fan attraction Deadpool, Carnage, and their pairing off enjoys, and you get one of the hottest Marvel titles of 2014. Salva Espin will be teaming up with Bunn once more for this epic showdown between the Merc with a Mouth and one of the Marvel Universe's deadliest serial killers.

Watch X-Men Origins: Wolverine for Deadpool's origin story online
*Hyperventilating*
As you can see from Espin's action-packed pages, the book won't be holding back the big guns. Espin returns Carnage to a more classic Bagley-esque design and continues to give Deadpool his signature comedic look. It's almost as though Deadpool vs Carnage was pulled straight out of every geek's fantasy from the '90s! I have a feeling that 2014 is gonna be one crazy good year for symbiote fans, and so far Bunn has yet to disappoint. #InBunnWeTrust

Are you excited from all of this Carnage news? Are you a fan of Bunn's work with symbiotes and Deadpool? Who do you think will win in the upcoming battle? Let us know in the comments below!

In a TV world overwhelmed by a constant stream of zombies, betrayals, meth, and L.A. decadence, a place where the new rots to old and forgives no one for any lack of originality, comes an unusual masterpiece: Lilyhammer.

Lilyhammer Steven Van Zandt Johnny Henriksen Frank Tagliano mafia boss netflix originals

The show is unusual because of its oil-and-water circumstances, its star, and especially its bilingual nature (English and Norwegian), which usually is grounds for a death sentence unless it's either Spanish or Elvish. Lilyhammer does have something logical in its favor, however: the underdog factor.

lilyhammer van zandt johnny torgeir norway netflixOur heroes of late (Dr. House, Dexter, and Mr. White, to name a few) were not exactly role models for social behavior, but they won us over nonetheless. Another name to add to the roster is Frank Tagliano—at least in the Big Apple. In Norway, he goes by Johnny Henriksen. Confused? Good! Read on.

The lead is played by Steven Van Zandt; not a new name, but he is not exactly a household name neither. His most notable role prior to Frank Tagliano/Johnny Henriksen in Lilyhammer was Silvio Dante in The Sopranos. His other works include…well that's it. This man is no actor; he's a rock star. More on that later.

Van Zandt's persona, physique, and speech make him typecast for the New York mob type. Everything about him reeks extortion, bribes, threats, and calzones, capisce? So it is no surprise that the series begins with hero the near-victim of a whack by a fellow mafioso. Frank (Van Zandt) testifies against his boss to the FBI in exchange for the witness protection program. Frank chooses to go to Lillehammer, Norway, of all places, because "Nobody but nobody" will be looking for him there. So he departs from New York City under the alias of Johnny Henriksen.

lilyhammer cast van zandt netflix originalsFor those familiar with Scandinavian culture, you will find this series hilarious as you see the clash of gangster "money-takes-all" attitude versus the local naiveté of simple small-town folks from a corruption-free society. Every place has its underbelly, however, and Frank manages to find a way to exploit the subtle weaknesses.

There is plenty of accuracy in depicting the lifestyle and feel of Norway, and so it should be: the producers and writers are Norwegians themselves. There is also no shortage of social critiques as Frank enters the integration program offered to immigrants by the local government. Other things, such as fatherhood, racism, and regional rivalry are brought to light as well.

Lillehammer norway netflix series mafiaFor those unfamiliar with Scandinavian culture, you will enjoy this series and are in for a treat if you miss old-school mafia-type scenarios. Despite the nuances of one or two logistical discrepancies (Frank starts to understand Norwegian a bit too quickly), this show is still all hits and no misses for me. It opens potential doors for other cultural mash-ups and social studies as Lilyhammer is nothing short of an entertaining voyage we take vicariously, courtesy of "Johnny."

As an underrated honorable mention, Steven Van Zandt also is a musician/guitarist from the Jersey Shore music scene of the mid 1960s. He's played with Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band on and off again for decades. On his own, he also played with countless names in the industry and was a politically driven frontman for his band Little Steven and the Disciples of Soul in the 1980s and 1990s as well as being the cofounder of Artists United Against Apartheid. Now that is a spicy meatball!

Destined 44 Greatness: 44Flood

Posted by Anonymous - Monday, December 30, 2013

From the time you emerge from the land of dreams, press through the uncomfortable threshold of darkness at the edge of your inner sanctuary and descend the sad steps of your terribly boring home, it quickly becomes obvious how lacking the day will be.
Tome Horror and Fantasy Cover Art

The daunt of simple tasks, the depressed pain of moving your bones, and the very mundane repetitiveness of the every day and the soul eating melancholia that goes with it steal away what sanity you have in this world. There is no going back to being a child: all is lost.

Amidst this dark drab lies the soul of 44Flood. Kasra Ghanbari, Nicholas Idell, and artists Ben Templesmith and Menton3 share a fondness and a passion for art that cannot be touched by all the other cheery soulful inhabitants of Earth.

Tome, Lust, and The Squidder—all creations of the 44Flood team—seem to be shaded by monstrously depressing themes, which is fitting, considering the creative have a tendency to be clouded by an odd darkness or a morbid personality.

The 44Flood current projects define the importance of difference with work that stands out among the every day comics. The agonizing crush of lifeless taint depicted in the amazing art of these creators, in my opinion, tears superhero art apart.

This team is bringing something to the table that I can truly appreciate. They have mastered an emotion that develops at the core of the human soul and manifests only in the dank pit of abysmal depression. It's a feeling we all know at some point—a feeling experienced when all is lost.

Tome, the project that drew me in, is a prime example of dreadfully intense artistic compilations. It takes artists of diverse medium and styles and allows them to express their versions of a simple theme. The theme for the first book, vampirism, gave the artists a chance to tear an intimate, otherworldly fantasy from their minds and bring them to life. The question is, what does the word "vampirism" mean to the artist and how would they illustrate how that makes them feel? The product is a dark and historic ensemble of masterpieces sure to impress. What makes this a unique undertaking, in my mind, is the tone.




Downloadable Graphic Sexual Depictions by LustBut beyond the amalgamation of beautiful underground dark artists in the Tome books lies the foundation on which it was built. 44Flood is the cornerstone of change, the will to express an innermost shadow on the soul of its artists. It's exactly why the comic book Lust exists in the form it does, centered around the true presentation piece for the books: the art.

What makes Lust a masterpiece isn't only the artists (Ben Templesmith and Menton3) and writer (Steve Niles) bringing it to life; it's the unprecedented backward creation pattern from which it is breathed life.

The art is first created by the two artists who are starting on opposite sides of the book and slowly working their ways to a collision in the center. After it's all said and done, then the writer writes the story or poetry that brings it to life. I think you'll have a hard time finding another comic which centers it's story around the art, rather than using the art to define the story. If nothing else is true, one thing certainly is, 44Flood is clearly not holding itself to any specific methods of creation. It' a fact that I'm sure the artists are in love with.



The Dark And Erotic Comic Art of 44Flood
What's great is that any one artist—any contributor to the 44Flood team—might spawn the next project. Squidder, a creation from the mind of Ben Templesmith (and one I suspect he's quite proud of), is the most recent campaign, which was funded on Dec. 7. It's a creator graphic novel composed of the most tentacle-y situations imaginable; the most tentacle-y characters and the squidiest art on Earth. With all the possibilities for creation, 44Flood will most definitely be a mammoth comic team in the industry.

Per the comic book campaign: "THE SQUIDDER is an original graphic novel about an old soldier from a forgotten war in a post-apocalyptic world that has left him behind. The book promises heavy horror, fantasy, and Lovecraftian elements, as well as black humor."


I can honestly say I like what 44Flood is about…whatever it is that they are about. I suspect it's the way most of us will feel sooner or later. Between the four campaigns currently on Kickstarter, the team asked for $69,600 total unevenly divided among the projects. What's amazing is that the art and comic/graphic books milked an overwhelming $423,474 of support from fans that were just as ecstatic as I was to see what was going to develop. To those of you that don't get it, 700% funding is a nuclear kick-start. With that kind of support, these projects are destined for greatness. Don't forget to tell me what you think downstairs.

Spider-Man enemies Sinister Six movie villains charactersWe're closer and closer to getting the Sinister Six on screen and over time, even more villains are being teased that could potentially show up in the Amazing Spider-Man series. There have been references to Morbius, Vulture, Doctor Octopus, and even Alistair Smythe to go along with the already confirmed Green Goblin, Electro and Rhino that we know we're getting in Amazing Spider-Man 2.

Everyone is always clamoring for characters like Carnage and Black Cat to show up in the films as well, and I already covered those in part one of my list (which you can read here on ComicBookMovie.com), but what about those villains that are not as well known?

How do you bring some of the more obscure Spider-Man villains into the film franchise, and why should they be given the chance to shine in the first place?

1. Dr. Miles Warren, aka The Jackal

Amazing Spider-Man Jackal reference Dr. Miles Warren cameo
Not the Green Goblin. None of them. Or Demogoblin. Or Hobgoblin. Or Jack O'Lantern. Or Protogoblin...

We may never have to see The Jackal in the form of a monstrous green goblin-esque creature (seriously, how many villains are similar like that for Spider-Man?), but Dr. Miles Warren is such an easy character to incorporate into the films that it's astounding that they haven't yet.

Wouldn't it make sense for him to be a biologist and/or geneticist working for Oscorp and one of the chief people responsible for the research on characters such as Lizard and Spider-Man himself? Couldn't he be influential in working on these serums that create these hybrids?

Considering the character's connections to Gwen Stacy and how, in this film's universe, Gwen was an intern at Oscorp, why not make him someone that she worked with that had a fondness for her? If she does in fact meet her maker [insert Stan Lee joke], Warren could have a grudge against Peter for getting her into trouble.

We don't need to get crazy here and do the Clone Saga storyline, but there's no need to create a character like Dr. Ratha if you have someone like Dr. Miles Warren waiting in the wings.

Amazing Spider-Man Morlun reference cameo scene2. Morlun

This is a tricky one to deal with, as Morlun is nowhere near as well known as even some of the other characters on this list. Yet that could work as a benefit in a film adaptation more than to its detriment. Advertising a movie in which Spider-Man fights Morlun is going to sound ridiculous, but we've probably reached a point where any superhero film that is big enough, like Spider-Man, doesn't necessarily need a villain to carry the weight of the movie. Just merely advertising another Spider-Man movie would be good enough.

Morlun presents an opportunity to do something totally different and stray from the average outline of superhero films. You don't need to tie the villain's origin into Oscorp or make Peter responsible for making him who he is. There's no requirement that Morlun be a sympathetic character. Instead of keeping things as basic and grounded into science as possible, you can go into the oddball side of things and go with the crazy cult storyline.

Totems? Peter dying and turning into a more evolved spider? What??

That might be the reaction that most would have, but eventually we're going to get tired of the same old thing. Even though this has the chance to be absolutely absurd and completely ridiculous to a bad level, who knows? Maybe there's more potential to it than what we can view at the surface.

Spider-Man villain Beetle woman Iron Man ripoff3. Beetle

Let's be perfectly frank here. Nobody is ever going to request Beetle from among all the characters that they want to see on film, even if they're given choices entirely made up of characters we've already seen. Abner Jenkins, Janice Lincoln, or any of them are just not popular enough characters, nor do they have anything going for them that would give anyone a reason to argue that they should be more popular.

As a quick fight sequence, however, Beetle could be fun. He's essentially a poor man's Iron Man, and for a character with such exciting aerial visuals as Spider-Man, a flight-style duel has the potential to be quite awesome for a throwaway action piece.

It also expands the universe more by showing that there are people out there that Spider-Man has to deal with on a regular basis who aren't exactly the most important villains.

Impostor Barack Obama enemy villain Spider-Man series
4. Chameleon

When they've official run out of ideas, why not just go with something as simple as Chameleon as a backup character? He essentially only has one story, and it's repetitive as all hell when it comes to the comics and television series, but that doesn't mean as a one-shot it can't still be entertaining.

The story of an impostor messing around with the life of Spider-Man—whether it be acting as a fake Spidey himself or pretending to be various people that Peter Parker deals with on a regular basis—is worthwhile enough that it could be interesting if given the right twist.

This is by no means good enough to revolve an entire film around, but a cameo of sorts could be cool.

A question to make you ponder: who would you like to see be the actor behind the white mask?

Amazing Spider-Man Hobgoblin cameo pictures5. Hobgoblin

Spider-Man purists will probably disagree with me on this one, but I'm actually more fond of the idea that Harry Osborn is the Hobgoblin and none of the other ones like Ned Leeds, Roderick Kingsley, or Jason Macendale even exist. It just would make more sense to me if Harry in Amazing Spider-Man 2 were dressed up and called "The Hobgoblin" rather than "The Green Goblin," and then have ANOTHER "Green Goblin" in #3. The distinction could be that Harry is the Hobgoblin, but Norman is "the Green Hobgoblin, oh fuck it, we'll just shorten it to Green Goblin."

No matter what the case, this is now the third time we're getting a Green Goblin on screen, and it looks like we'll get a fourth in Amazing Spider-Man 3, yet there's been no love shown for Hobgoblin, which is a shame.

6. Spider Slayers

I'll admit that this is mostly because I grew up with the animated series in the 1990s, in which Spider Slayers were all the rage because Spider-Man could destroy them, unlike his other enemies who couldn't be killed off. Because of that, this enemy has just ingrained itself into my brain, and deep down, the child in me wants to see a live-action version of the fights that (in retrospect) kind of sucked in the cartoon but amped up to the crazy level we expect action to be nowadays in movies.

Amazing Spider-Man Slayers Alistair Smythe RobotsBe it Alistair Smythe, Norman Osborn, Otto Octavius—it doesn't matter who creates them, I want Spider Slayers, and I purely want them for action sequences and nothing more.

There's no story that needs to be put in place or anything. I just want explosions and missiles and giant spider robots blowing up all over the place while Peter makes snarky comments about finding their weak spots and everything else that the animated series was, but more.

So what are some other villains that you'd like to see brought to life from the Spider-Man series? Let us know in the comments below!

The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug Review

Posted by DAJB - Sunday, December 29, 2013

I can trace my love of all things fantasy directly back to the first time I read The Hobbit at the age of around nine and, as such, it's always had a special place in my affections. Maybe that's why, despite his success at adapting The Lord of the Rings for the big screen, I had doubts about Peter Jackson's ability to do the same for my childhood favourite. The Hobbit is, after all, a children's book at heart and the decision to turn it into an epic trilogy has ruffled more than a few giant eagle feathers.

The second film in that trilogy, The Desolation of Smaug, is in cinemas now, so just how well is Jackson's return to Middle Earth faring?

Hobbit 2 movie poster with Richard Armitage, Ian McKellen, Sylvester McCoy, Evangeline Lilly and Orlando Bloom
Tauriel, Legolas and Radagast aren't in the book, but they aren't above photo-bombing the movie!
Looking ahead, looking behind

I'm sure I'm not giving away any spoilers if I say that the over-arching plot line of The Hobbit trilogy is the tale of a group of dwarves—assisted by the wizard Gandalf and the titular hobbit Bilbo Baggins—on a quest to slay a dragon and reclaim their lost homeland, the underground kingdom of Erebor. This film, The Desolation of Smaug, is the second film in the trilogy and, like Bilbo (again played by Martin Freeman), it has a tough task ahead of it.

Martin Freeman star of the BBC's Sherlock and The Office
Holding a sword to his own head was a trick Bilbo
learned from repeated viewings of Blazing Saddles.
The first film in the trilogy, An Unexpected Journey, had a mixed reception. Some critics took issue with its more farcical, pantomime elements, while others complained that the insertion of characters from The Lord of the Rings added too much gloom to a story which is fundamentally a light-hearted romp.

Personally, I can live with both: I like the fact that Jackson and his co-writers have delved into Tolkien's appendices in search of material that ties the story into the bigger events of the LotR saga and, after repeated viewings, I've even come to accept that the slapstick comedy is not actually out of place but is, in fact, entirely appropriate to a story written for children.

My main criticism of An Unexpected Journey is that it was simply too similar to The Lord of the Rings. Yes, it was necessary to visit many of the same locations (Hobbiton, Rivendell), but too many of the shots had a distinct sense of déjà vu about them. Some of the helicopter shots of New Zealand's admittedly spectacular mountain ranges, for example, looked as if they'd been constructed from unused footage shot for LotR and then had the dwarves added with the aid of a little CGI. Or maybe elvish magic.

If An Unexpected Journey had been made before the LotR trilogy, I believe it would have received a rapturous welcome from critics and audiences alike, just as The Fellowship of the Ring did. Instead, the predominant feeling it inspired was a slightly sagging, seen-it-all-before sense of fatigue. And that, then, is the epic task ahead of The Desolation of Smaug. Ultimately it not only has to entertain, it also has to distinguish itself from The Lord of the Rings; to show us something we haven't seen before.

Lake Town is governed by Stephen Fry
Lake Town.  Like Venice.  You know, if Venice had fewer palaces and more ramshackle wooden hovels.
Over hill and under hill

Showing us something we haven't seen before is, perhaps, where The Desolation of Smaug comes into its own. The Weta team's mastery of CGI has clearly grown in the years since LotR. As impressive as its visual effects were at the time, the reliance on puppetry for the ents, for example, is starting to look more dated with each passing year.

There isn't an abundance of new environments in this film, although we do get to see the water-logged Lake Town and Legolas's homeland, the Woodland Realm. Paradoxically, however, it's the return to old haunts that feel newest. A flashback to The Prancing Pony in Bree feels very familiar in both appearance and atmosphere, but still manages to seem more "real" than we remember. The corrupted forest of Mirkwood now feels less like a movie set and more like a huge, dense and threatening world of its own; a world of trees that stretches out for miles in every direction, every branch dripping with malevolence.

Smaug voiced by Benedict Cumberbatch from the BBC's Sherlock
In film-land, all the bad guys speak with English
accents. Yup - even the dragons!
The success of the special effects in The Desolation of Smaug, however, is not going to be judged on the film's environments. The real revelation in LotR was just how convincing a CGI character could be. And, just as Gollum lit up every scene he graced in that trilogy, the success of this film was always going to depend to some extent on just how convincing a talking dragon could be.

I am fire ...

Well, without giving away any spoilers, Smaug doesn't disappoint! Perhaps the last big budget movie to try putting a CGI dragon on screen was Dragonheart, in which a Sean Connery-voiced Draco lumbered heavily and had the facial animation of a Jim Henson puppet. As depicted in Alan Lee's iconic illustrations for Tolkien's book, however, Smaug is a thin, serpentine creature and this film stays true to that image. He slithers through piles of gold  like an eel through water; he skitters up walls with the agility of a sprightly gecko; and, most importantly, when he speaks his face registers every subtle curl of the lip or raising of an eyebrow.

Thanks to this lovingly detailed animation and Benedict Cumberbatch's (sadly, almost unrecognisable) vocal talents, Smaug is not just a monster to be slain. He is very much a character in his own right. Which is important. If there's one thing I've come to appreciate over the years, it's that convincing, interesting and engaging characters can be even more important to a story than its plot. In this respect, Smaug delivers in spades. But what about the other characters?

Company of thirteen dwarves led by Thorin Oakenshield
From left to right: Dopey, Grumpy, Bashful, Paddy, um ... someone, someone, Dave Dee, Dozy, Beaky, Mick and Tich.
Confounded dwarves

There is a fundamental problem at the heart of The Hobbit. Even in book form, it just has too many dwarves! Whether reading Tolkien's novel or watching Jackson's movies, it quickly becomes impossible to tell one from another and, without the ability to do that, it's not easy to empathize with any of them. So what if one dies? We still have twelve more!

Heartthrob Aidan Turner, the vampire from Being Human
Thorin, Kili and Fili always won the smouldering
look contests.
Disney managed to differentiate his seven by giving each dwarf a name which encapsulated its character. Tolkien's dwarves already have names and so, as a film maker, Jackson has had to rely on giving each a distinctive appearance and ensuring that they each have an individual characteristic which is regularly brought to the foreground. In An Unexpected Journey, Jackson began this process. It wasn't entirely successful (there are just so damn many!) but, as with the Fellowship in LotR, I was prepared to accept that the characters' personalities would become increasingly recognisable with each successive film. That faith appears to have been misplaced.

The dwarves in The Desolation of Smaug are, if anything, even less distinguishable than they were before. Thorin, the brooding group leader is obviously recognisable; the white-bearded Balin has a few lines which mark him out as the sage old voice of wisdom in the group; and Kili (played by Being Human's Aiden Turner) has a whole new romantic sub-plot woven around him which, frankly, challenges our suspension of disbelief. Otherwise the other ten dwarves are largely interchangeable, identifiable (if at all) only as "the fat one who looks like Obelix," or "the one played by James Nesbitt."

sexy Evangeline Lilly hot female elf
Unable to master a Scottish accent, Evangeline
Lilly failed her audition for Merida from Brave.
Uninvited guests

Some of the book's other characters also suffer from a similar lack of attention. Stephen Fry as the Master of Lake Town is wholly wasted. Radagast makes a fleetingly brief and unnecessary appearance. The shape-changer Beorn is allowed only a single conversation in the entire film. This may or may not be true to the book (it's been some time since I last read it!) but—given the amount of extraneous material added in by Jackson and his co-writers—surely Beorn is one of the few characters who would have benefited from a little extra screen time?

This tendency to reduce characters to cardboard cut-outs is all the more surprising given the importance placed on others who aren't even in the book. Whilst it had been widely reported that Legolas would have a cameo in the film, he and Tauriel (a female wood-elf captain played by Lost's Evangeline Lilly) are much more than that.

Far better fleshed out than some of the book's actual characters, they leap and wield both bows and blades like genuine action heroes, even eclipsing many of the film's principal heroes. As much fun as these characters are, however, at times it's hard to escape the conclusion that if Jackson hadn't allowed them quite so much screen time, he would have been able to do a better job of fleshing out the characters he already had to work with.

Nasty, disturbing, uncomfortable things!

So if it's light on character moments, how does The Desolation of Smaug fill its two hours and 40 minutes? In a word: action. Despite its failings in other areas, the film is never less than entertaining. It moves along at a cracking pace, a succession of bravura set-piece action sequences following hard on the heels of each other. It's like a medieval fantasy version of Die Hard with the cars replaced by orcs on wargs and the big final explosion replaced by a dragon who belches fire.

Fan favourite Orlando Bloom returns in The Hobbit
Finally, Legolas gets another chance to use the one
expression he showed in The Lord of the Rings
Each individual action scene is well choreographed and a lot of fun. In fact, the film moves so quickly from one set-piece to the next that—for most of its length—it feels much shorter than its actual running time. Sadly that feeling dwindles during the final confrontation with Smaug. It's well done but, once again, Jackson has been unable to resist adding (another) sequence not in the book—this time, a showdown between Smaug and a handful of dwarves. It's cleverly constructed but, by the end, it's difficult to escape the impression that the film as a whole is far too long. (Well, it wouldn't be a Peter Jackson film without a protracted closing sequence now, would it?)

Critics have been divided over The Desolation of Smaug. Some have awarded it a miserly two out of five which, given the lack of attention to characterisation and the over-extended final scene, is understandable. Others have given it a jewel-encrusted four out of five which, paradoxically, can also be justified, given how well the individual action scenes are put together. Interestingly, very few have plumped for a score between the two, which—taken as a whole—is, I'd argue, what the film deserves.

The middle film of a trilogy is always a difficult proposition and that was always going to be especially true of a trilogy based on a book as short as The Hobbit. Given those underlying challenges, this film could have been a disaster. As it is, whilst there's no denying that the film is flawed, it's still a lot of fun, and—if you haven't seen it yet—I'd suggest it's definitely one to add to your list of films to see in the New Year.

What about you? Have you had a chance to see The Desolation of Smaug yet? If so, let us know what you thought. Does it languish under the gloom of Mirkwood, or sparkle with the lustre of the Arkenstone?

Pokemon: 5 Stupid Things About the TV Show

Posted by Anthony Mango - Saturday, December 28, 2013

HQ Pokemon wallpaper images of Ash Ketchum Misty and Brock
As a kid, I was completely sucked into the Pokémon craze. I had full sets of the cards, pretty much all of the video games (with manuals to go with them), tons of toys, you name it. To this day, I still have an appreciation for the series. I'd be playing Pokémon X & Y if I had the system for it, just the same as I played all of the other generations. But as much as those trading cards aren't worth a damn now compared to what they were back then, or as much as I've outgrown playing with the toys, there's one thing that really doesn't stand up to the test of time or make sense to me as having been worth the fun back in the day.

Whenever I look back on the anime television series, I completely can't see what I was a fan of. There are a multitude of reasons why, in retrospect, the TV show just happens to suck. I'm surprised that it didn't add up sooner to me as a kid and make me stop watching more quickly than I did.

1. Ash Always Releases His Pokémon

You want to be the very best, like no one ever was? Stop getting rid of your fucking Pokémon! I'm pretty sure there isn't a single successful animal act out there that spends the time and effort into training the animals and then, once they can listen, lets them go. That seems to be rule #1. What a waste of time! Because Ash is a dipshit, by the time he finally understands what his Pokémon are and how they can be used to battle with the slightest bit of skill, he gets rid of them.

Pokemon sad moments Ash's Butterfree returns
"Bye bye Butterfree! I wish you didn't have to go, now that you're worth a damn.
Wait, you don't have to, I'm choosing to do this. Why am I sad? Oh, because I'm an idiot, that's why."
The idiot doesn't even trade them for other Pokémon that are equal to or greater than the ones he has! He just tosses them aside. This isn't even when he "officially" gets rid of them, either. At the start of a new series, he just ditches some of his Pokémon and wants to start all over again.

2. Ash's Pokémon Rarely Evolve

Sometimes, Ash gets rid of his Pokémon fast enough that he never sees them evolve at all. Sometimes he just flat-out refuses to evolve them.

Sure, I know, there's supposed to be this underlying theme that he cares about them beyond just what they're useful for and we should all respect what everyone is inside and not change them, blah blah blah. That's all fine and dandy on a kid's cartoon show, but in the reality of that world, Ash is doing not only himself but others a disservice.

You think his Pokémon like getting their ass kicked all the time? Wouldn't they benefit from a leg up on the competition? Or what about the professors? They want Ash to do research on every single Pokémon out there, in theory, correct? How is Ash ever going to study Pokémon when he's so conservative about them?

Finally Ash evolves Pikachu into Raichu
Ash's Pokédex has a ton of holes in it, doesn't it? Some explorer you are. Where's your sense of curiosity and your thirst for knowledge? But at least he's good at the competitive side of things... right?

3. Ash Never Actually Wins Badges by Battling

Wrong. Ash sucks at the combat aspect of Pokémon training.

Then again, why should that come as a surprise when he can't keep them long enough to train them to be worth battling in the first place?

Ash seems to luck his way into badges rather than actually proving that he's better than the gym leaders. In fact, many times, he is awarded a badge just because he defeated the same trio of idiots that he defeats each and every week.

That's not an impressive feat in the slightest bit. That's like giving a kid an A+ on every test, so long as they keep repeating the same answers to the first test they ever got an A+ on. That doesn't prove that he's learned a damn thing. It might even prove the opposite, since Ash is too dumb and unskilled to realize that when these motherfuckers come around, he should just say "yo, Pikachu, just Thundershock the fuck out of these idiots and let's move on with the rest of our day."

Ash's badges in Pokemon TV Show Kanto
"Hey guys, look at all these badges I won out of pity and being in the right place at the right time! I'm the best!"

I'm pretty sure that in the video games, I was never given badges for going through the cave near that town successfully or for being nice enough to return a stolen object or anything. Nope. Instead, you only get those badges when you've beaten your opponent. Can't seem to do it? Level-grind until you obliterate them, get your trophy, and move on to the next town.

4. Oh C'mon, Pikachu is Not That Powerful

If you just watched the anime, you'd think Pikachu was the most sought-after Pokémon in the entire game because of how insanely powerful it is. All you need is a Pikachu and you can beat anything—even the ground Pokémon that are completely and utterly immune to its attacks, like Onyx!
Injured Pikachu electricity overpowered anime pictures
Because fuck the logic and rules created by the series itself.
But in reality, Pikachu is average. Even Raichu, depicted in the show as being significantly stronger than Pikachu in the early seasons, is relatively easy to defeat. You can beat both of them by catching a quick Diglett that you store away in Bill's PC forever afterward and replace with something cooler.

In the show, Pikachu farts and the world explodes. That is, unless Ash is fighting a legitimate battle. Then of course, we all know he can't win.

5. Team Rocket Employs Total Idiots

Giovanni seems like he knows what he's doing, for the most part. But Jesus Christ, why wouldn't he get rid of Jessie and James?

Looks like Team Rocket's blasting off againEven if you're a total pushover of a boss who really doesn't want to fire anyone (which Giovanni doesn't seem to be), you have to come to your senses EVENTUALLY and realize that these two are weighing you down. Think of all of the expenses that are being wasted on new blimps and hovercrafts and nonsense that these two employ but end up wrecking when they get attacked by a Pikachu sneeze.

Giovanni looks like he can handle this himself in no time, but is just too busy. So if that's the case, Pikachu must not be that important overall. Giovanni damn sure got his hands dirty when Mewtwo was around. Maybe Jessie and James are the kids of Giovanni's friends that he just agreed he'd help out and give a job to, and despite how many times they fuck up, he's bros with their dads and just can't find a politically correct way to fire the retards without looking bad.

That's just five of the biggest offenders, but there are plenty of others that are less offensive, just as offensive, or possibly even more offensive than the ones listed here. In part two, I'll be breaking down five more dumb things that bothered me as a kid, but nowhere near as much as they do now in retrospect.

WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON THIS LIST? LEAVE YOUR COMMENTS BELOW!


Episode 54 of the I Got Gameplay podcast is now online. In this episode, Miguel Leon, Michael Burhan, Xander Skullion, Kyla Dipietro, Zack Latour, and Travis Goss talk with special guest Erika Szabo about online gaming communities. From your MMORPGs to your Second Life, the group talks how these communities have become a staple in every day society.

Worst MMORPG communities in video games

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The Master of Plagues Book Review

Posted by Anonymous - Thursday, December 26, 2013

Revenge is a dish best served plagued…with kosher fiction and unleavened insanity. D.B. Reynolds has put together a story of divine revenge in Master of Plagues, which is definitely enjoyable in a world where you can't count on the comfort of simple revenge from time to time.

Cheap Master Of Plagues Book DownloadIn this book, Stuart Duffelmeyer is a young Jewish student on the verge of graduation. He's smart, he's quiet, and he is most definitely still a virgin. It's a combination that shouts geek.

Very early in the story, it becomes apparent that Stuart's friends are nothing of the kind. In fact, the Egomaniacal Eight, as he comes to call them, have plans for the soon to be grad: a plot that will embarrass and humiliate him to the core. To lure a young man into such a position of powerlessness, it will require bait—sex, of course. After all, what college-age virgin male isn't looking to lose that status?

At the idea of finally losing his, Stuart jumps on the opportunity to meet in a run-down hotel—the place where the prank is set to go down—for a rendezvous. Why over-think a possible dream come true? It's an action that will change things for the young man and his attackers forever, because he won't be leaving with his dignity intact, and neither will he be able to let it go.

Stuart later comes into the possession of a talisman with the power to unleash plagues—a gift from the Almighty—which he uses to harness the forces of nature and get the revenge he so desires. Perhaps there will be a cost, or maybe not. Either way, playing with such power—especially so carelessly—never ends well. The most accurate description I can come up with is The Seventh Sign and Willard convert to Judaism, get married, and make this baby. There are many levels of plagues, many scenarios for destructive justice, and plenty of power to get it all done.

 

Personally, I found it enjoyable. There are ups and downs. Some of the metaphors are amazing and some I don't get; some of the book is written well and some of it could use revision; but I could definitely imagine it being made into a movie one day. The story gets repetitive from time to time, and the hypocritical credit to faith can be overwhelming, but all in all, the story is unique, fun, and worth a read. I would recommend it to open-minded readers that enjoy religious fantasy books.

Don't forget to tell me downstairs what you think.

The Dace Man Show Ep 27 - A Dacetacular Christmas!

Posted by The Dace Man - Wednesday, December 25, 2013

Check out Episode 27 of The Dace Man Show with regulars Gibby, Frank Ward, Dan Raup and Michael Burhan as they celebrate Christmas Dacetacular Style.

Christmas Specials Online.

Join The Dace Man this week as he breaks down the following:

::SPORTS NEWS::

  • NFL Week 16 is history and we see Playoff starting to shape up
  • Tony Romo is on the DL heading into this week's big NFC East game against the Philadelphia Eagles
  • Current NHL Leaders... stupid cold....
  • Serena Williams named Associated Press's Female Athlete of the Year for a third time.
 ::WEIRD NEWS WITH GIBBY::
  • You never know what to expect out of this bird like man. He did bring us this cute chick.
Nude Female Elves.

::FRANK'S CORNER::
  • Frank's Back!! And he brings some Holiday joy!
::CELEB NEWS::
  • Justin Beiber retires. Most exciting news Ive ever had the pleasure of delivering. 
  • Tila Tequila realized she was forgotten about and made another sex tape.
  • Phil Robertson stirs the pot with an honest interview with GQ
  • Steve Martin slips with an offensive tweet.
  • Steve Harvey cleared of child abuse allegations! 
Plus the High Five: Top 5 Christmas Specials. All that and more, only on The Dace Man Show!


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Geek Speak is a weekly radio show with an explosion of nerd conversation. Join hosts Craig Kellerman & Travis Goss as they rant on movies, TV, video games, comics, cartoons, technology, and whatever else is sparking our attention.

:: This Week's Theme ::
Christmas Special

It's time to deck the halls and bake cookies! Tis the season for us to gather together and watch some of our favourite Christmas themed movies and shows. We'll also recall our fondest Christmas memories.

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Every Tuesday at 8pm EST on Mega Powers Radio.

Home Alone Full Movie      A Christmas Story Full Movie

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Geek Speak Ep 13 - Will Ferrell

Posted by Mike Paden - Tuesday, December 24, 2013

Anchorman Wallpaper
Geek Speak is a weekly radio show with an explosion of nerd conversation. Join hosts Craig Kellerman & Travis Goss as they rant on movies, TV, video games, comics, cartoons, technology, and whatever else is sparking our attention.

:: This Week's Theme ::
Will Ferrell

This week's Geek Speak will feature one of Saturday Night Live's greatest graduates, the ever hilarious Will Ferrell. As we prepare for the long awaited sequel Anchorman 2 releasing in theaters this week, we will check out the first Anchorman film along with other films from Will Ferrell's career.

Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy - Ron Burgundy is San Diego's top rated newsman in the male-dominated broadcasting of the 70's, but that's all about to change for Ron and his cronies when an ambitious woman is hired as a new anchor.

Stranger Than Fiction - An IRS auditor suddenly finds himself the subject of narration only he can hear: narration that begins to affect his entire life, from his work, to his love-interest, to his death.

Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby - #1 NASCAR driver Ricky Bobby stays atop the heap thanks to a pact with his best friend and teammate, Cal Naughton, Jr. But when a French Formula One driver, makes his way up the ladder, Ricky Bobby's talent and devotion are put to the test.

Step Brothers - Two aimless middle-aged losers still living at home are forced against their will to become roommates when their parents get married.

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That's right!! The Dace Man is back!! Join Chris "The Dace Man" Dace, Gibby and London's first son Michael Burhan as they break down this week in Pop Culture and Sports!

Terminator 5 Spoilers and Early Cast Rumors

Join The Dace Man this week as he breaks down the following:

::SPORTS NEWS::
  • NFL this week.
  • World Cup News
  • NHL this week.
  • Roy Halladay retires.
  • The Dace Man reflects on the Philadelphia Flyers v.s.  The Montreal Canadiens  as he texts a Montreal native.
 ::WEIRD NEWS WITH GIBBY::
  • He's back to drinking during the show again cause The Dace Man is Back
::FRANK'S CORNER::
  • Frank was out this week but he'll return for Christmas. Ho Ho Ho.
::CELEB NEWS::
  • Join The Dace Man as he literally scrolls down TMZ.com Seriously he made it to the studio literally 5 mins before air time...
Plus the High Five: Top 5 Comebacks and The Douche Bag of The Week. All that and more, only on The Dace Man Show!


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"Fast & Furious 7" Gets New Release Date

Posted by Jeff Penner - Monday, December 23, 2013

Vin Diesel posted on his Facebook account Sunday night, confirming the new release date of Fast & Furious 7 to be April 10th, 2015.

He continued, "The last scene we filmed together…There was a unique sense of completion, of pride we shared… in the film we were now completing… the magic captured… and, in just how far we've come… Fast and Furious 7 will be released… April 10th 2015! P.s. He'd want you to know first…"

Fast and Furious 7 movie


The film was initially put on hold after the death of star Paul Walker back on November 30th (in a car crash, which the Twitterverse pointed out the irony of for days afterward).

It sounds like the movie will include the death or retirement of Walker's character, Brian O'Connor, now that his younger brother has been re-cast to help flesh out some already filmed scenes.

This new release date adds yet another must-see blockbuster to an already bloated 2015 schedule. And fanboys can't wait!

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