Step One: Genre
First things first: We need to decide what genre of anime are we going to go with. Based off history, the easiest path to success is violence! Between oversaturated titles like Dragonball Z, Naruto, and One Piece, we learn that it's the easiest route. But not only are these titles violent, they're ridiculously flashy and over-the-top, leaving you wondering, "Why the fuck would they even do that?" So remember to fill your show with anger, blood, and a whole bunch of over-the-top, nonsensical BS.
Step Two: Art Style
Now that we have our genre, we just need to decide what type of art style we're going to go with. First off, all female characters—even though they're Asian—need to have HUGE boobs. Doesn't matter if they're 14, that girl gets tits the size of her head.
Next, your cast needs really bright colors. It doesn't matter if they're a stealthy ninja or a muscular serious warrior; they need to stick out with bright, in-your-face colors! But why stop there? Perhaps your skilful warriors aren't being taken seriously—they will when you give them huge spikey hair!
Remember: sex, bright colors, and stupid hair styles make your characters connect with 13-year-old weaboos waiting to hand their cash over!
Step Three: The Characters
Now this is the most important step, as your characters make the show what it is. With that said, there is a simple formula to follow to ensure that your anime reaches the pinnacle of success.
Main Character: First off, no character can be beloved without tragedy in their life. If you planned for your lead to have parents and a stable home life, think again! Simply by having your main character's life fall to crap, their struggles and triumphs connect with your audience throughout the duration of your show. Also, an oversized weapon helps…
Love Interest: Of course we know she's going to have giant cans, but your main character's love interest has to have the following. Timidity is a must for her. She can't be confident, and this particular quality can result in getting her into trouble, therefore giving the main character many occasions to run to her rescue. She must blush constantly; it doesn't matter if she's mildly bumped into, waved to, or spoken to in general conversation. This bitch has to blush! Only then will your fan base begin to churn out a whole bunch of badly-written fan fiction about her and the hero.
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| Look at this moody jackass, that right there, is money! $$$ |
The Enemy: There are many roads you can go down for the enemy. But in the end, he needs to be all-powerful, constantly getting the upper hand so that you can drag your series out just that little bit longer. And of course, have a league of sub-villains that will be a roadblock for our hero up until the end.
Step Four: Filler
For your anime to reach the pinnacle of success, it needs to pull in revenue. Unfortunately, if you just got to the point of the show, then it would be over in a flash. By adding side stories about helping small children, kittens, and elderly ladies, you can drag your series out for another 50 episodes! You hear the saying, "quality over quantity." Welp, for success it's cash over good story development.
Step Five: Vic Fucking Mignogna
I mean really, who else is going to voice your protagonist? This guy is Edward Elric! Not just that, you've got a double whammy; given his past playing such characters as Broly, he can give you a great villain too. Why pay multiple voice actors when you can just overwork one right? So that ends my guide on how to create a successful anime that will put cash in your pocket! I hope it was an enjoyable read for you. Let me know your thoughts in the comment section below. If you enjoy anime, then check out Addicted to Anime. We have a great community and a monthly podcast.
Also, check out Unanimous Decision MMA on Facbook and Twitter for all your MMA needs and podcasts.
And unless you're a douche, Like For Kittens.
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