Fanboys Anonymous

Hey everyone, this is Stephen Wago back again giving you five MORE stupid things about the Pokémon anime show that weren't already covered in Tony Mango's first list. Much like Tony, I was hooked on anime during the initial craze; I fell in love with it and with the related video games as well. I remember it all so fondly—not knowing how to play the card game, yet having stacks of the cards. I truly loved Pokémon then, and I still do to this day.

I can't help but look back at the series I once loved with a passion and realize its faults. I'll give them credit where it is due—some of the newer episodes have been much better. That said, however, here is my list of the five stupid things about the TV show:

1. Dragonite's Height

Dragonite's height is 7'03" and he weighs about 463 lb, although not according to the first series in Pokémon. During an episode titled "Mystery at the Lighthouse," a huge Dragonite as tall as Bill's lighthouse emerged from the water. In a rage against Team Rocket, it rampaged at the trio before walking away as Bill cried out for it not to go. He really had a good reason to cry out: I mean, catching a Dragonite of that size would be a legendary feat. Not just that, imagine how easy it would have been to dominate Pokémon battles! It's one of the biggest blunders in the show and earns itself a spot here.

2. Nurse Joy and Officer Jenny

It has been a running gag that really makes no sense in Pokémon. In every town, village, and area of the Pokémon world, there are identical Nurse Joys and Officer Jennys. Perhaps this was a reference to the video game having the same sprites, or maybe it was just the sense of humor of the writing team. Either way, it's definitely one of the top five stupidest things in Pokémon. Either there are some damn powerful genes in both of these families, or there is a lot of cloning in the Pokémon world. So much for equal opportunity; if you're not a Jenny or a Joy, you don't get to be a cop or nurse.

3. Pokémon Using The Wrong Move

When I think of Pokémon using wrong moves, one incident always sticks out in my mind: Bulbasaur using whirlwind to blow away an attack. Apparently this was a botch on behalf of the 4Kids dubbing company, but even as a kid, I had a "WTF?" moment. This wouldn't be the only offender; if you go on to Bulbapedia there is an entire list of anime move errors ranging from Bulbasaur using dig all the way to Unown using psychic. Come on, Pokémon, you can do better.

4. Rice Balls Are Not Doughnuts!

It's become apparent that 4Kids (The worst dubbing company in the world!) hates anything Japanese being in Pokémon, so far as to blatantly (and without a single attempt to edit them) call the rice balls on screen "jelly filled doughnuts."

I wish that 4Kids' stupidity stopped there, but unfortunately that isn't the only time they are guilty of editing out something even remotely Japanese. God forbid the youth watching the show be exposed to a variety of cultures, right?

5. The Social Norm

I'm not sure what's more absurd: the fact that letting children wander the world unsupervised is sociably acceptable, or the fact that we're not following Gary Oak's story instead of Ash Ketchum's. In a world full of dangerous and destructive creatures like Pokémon, not only is it okay for kids to catch and raise them, but it's also okay for them to travel the country on their own while doing so! In the end this is anime, and we have to take it with a grain of salt.

Agree? Disagree? Let me know below.

If you enjoyed or even want to debate my thoughts on anime, then go over to Addicted to Anime on Facebook and join in the banter. Also check out the LIVE show on February 23rd as we review Full Metal Alchemist and Full Metal Alchemist Brotherhood, exclusive to Mega Powers Radio.

Be sure also to check out Unanimous Decision for all your MMA needs and the UDMMA podcast.

And y'know what… Like for Kittens… or you're a bad person.