Fanboys Anonymous

Sex sells and boy does it sell well. Last year, I made a post about the top 10 most attractive female characters that I had a fictional crush on and it eventually became the highest viewed post in this entire website's history. Well, it's a brand new season of television, so it's time to do this for the sequel.

To preface things similar to last time, this is more about the characters themselves rather than the actresses playing them. Naturally, we know very little about their personalities, but on these shows, we get to see the most intimate details of each character. Of course, a good portion of this is built around their appearance, so the actress herself does come into play, but hey, that's unavoidable.

Nevertheless, while I'm not the type of person that watches a show or a movie specifically because I find someone attractive on it, if I were to be living in the universes in which these shows exist, who would I find myself smitten with?

In no particular order, here is the list of the top ten ladies that have caught my attention this season (so far):

1) Paige Dineen (Katharine McPhee) from Scorpion

Katharine McPhee has a very baseline beautiful face, so that's not a bad foundation to start off with by any means. Ignoring the purely physical aspect of the actress that plays Paige Dineen, the character itself has many positive traits that catch my eye. For one, she's the "everyday normal chick" version of the "girl next door" trope. Essentially, that translates to being a relatable average woman without falling into the trap of becoming too flawless. A lot of "girl next door" writers are afraid to make the character imperfect, fearing that if the character steps too far beyond the safe boundaries, it will go against the intention for normal people to identify with her.

Paige is the least intelligent person on the team, but that prevents her from having the arrogance that comes with everyone else's skills. Jadyn Wong's character Happy Quinn might appeal more to others, but to me, she's too abrasive and has too much to prove. Paige admits her faults and tries to keep a level head about things, which I'm fond of.


2) Skye (Chloe Bennet) and Jemma Simmons (Elizabeth Henstridge) from Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.

Last time around, I only included Skye, because I felt like Simmons was a bit annoying kind of a know-it-all. For season 2, however, I can't quite decide which one I have a bigger crush on, so I have to make this a tie.

Both of them are incredibly attractive physically—let's just get that obvious aspect out of the way.

Much of Skye's allure is Chloe Bennet herself. Every interview I've seen her do, she radiates an attitude of confidence and fun that's extremely attractive. Similarly, the Skye character has that tone to her where I feel like I would enjoy myself on a date with her and not just be hoping to skip to the sheets. I could hang around with Skye as a friend, but I know I'd end up falling hard eventually, so that would be dangerous. Those eyes are killers, too. Even when Skye's character is having her darker moments, she can flip it all around with a quick, devious smile that is super enticing. She's interesting without being packed to the gills with problems.


Simmons has won me over quite a bit in comparison to the beginning of the first season. Originally, I found her to be way too over-the-top and bothersome. Now that she's developed a personality, I'm crushing on the nerd. I do have a thing for dorks that I can't deny. After all, why would I have created a website about geek culture if I didn't, right? Simmons is very intelligent, which is a big positive, and she's very humble and fragile. Seeing a pretty girl who needs rescuing speaks to some kind of an animalistic side in men and it definitely strikes a chord with me when it comes to Simmons. Also, seeing her have a bit more of an edge to her this season gives off that vibe that maybe she's an angel in public, but behind closed doors, she becomes a bit wicked.


Also, just because I gave the spotlight to these two women doesn't mean I don't have my eye on Melinda May, either, but her character is far too much of a bitch for me to get into on a personal level and develop a crush on. That being said...how you doin', Ming-Na Wen?

3) Detective Amy Santiago (Melissa Fumero) from Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Move over, Jake Peralta. Amy is mine. Despite how I didn't like when Jemma Simmons was a know-it-all, I like that attitude coming from Santiago. The main difference is when Simmons did it, she was justified and I felt like I was supposed to be impressed. With Santiago, her arrogance is very quickly destroyed and she's brought back down to everyone else's level in some fashion. Her embarrassment over silly issues like her brown nose methods balances it out and makes her adorable instead of irksome.


4) Barbara Kean (Erin Richards) from Gotham

When it comes to the women of the Batman saga, there is no shortage of beauties. Selina Kyle is probably the overall favorite, but in this series, she's still a teenager, so hopefully nobody is too creepy about that. The same age range should apply to most others like Talia al Ghul, Julie Madison, Sasha Bordeaux and Silver St. Cloud. Nonetheless, we have four main women on the show in Fish Mooney (Jada Pinkett Smith), Sarah Essen (Zabryna Guevara) and Renee Montoya (Victoria Cartagena) along with the featured woman for this article. Fish Mooney's villainous ways rule her out. Sarah Essen isn't my type, either. Renee Montoya would be, but fans of the series know that I wouldn't be her type.

Barbara has this "reformed cheerleader" thing going on, where she is clearly beautiful and has been beautiful her whole life, but she's moved on since then and she's proving her value beyond her looks. She's supportive of Gordon (always a positive), she's not a complete pushover, and I'm fascinated with those eyes. When she's in a bright mood, they pop in a way that seems super fun. When she's more forceful, I feel a bit intimidated. I'm not sure why I like that, but for some reason, I do. Erin Richards better be on this show for a long time to help offset the unattractiveness of Harvey Bullock, Penguin, and pretty much every other character in the cast.


5) Abigail (Mackenzie Mauzy) from Forever

WOW is this woman stunning when she smiles. In the first episode, I was more into Detective Jo Martinez (Alana De La Garza) and granted, she's still someone to mention as she's not written as a bimbo nor trying too hard not to be in an exhaustive manner (plus, she's just flat out attractive), but Abigail's written into the show as a woman whom the titular character loved more than anyone in his 200+ years on Earth. One can see why. She's essentially been flawless so far as not only a drop dead knockout beauty, but also an extremely compassionate woman who brings out the best in seemingly everyone and everything around her. How do you ignore something like that? You don't. I'd fall head over heels for this woman, I'm sure. Look at that smile!!!



6) Penny (Kaley Cuoco) from The Big Bang Theory

I normally hate short hair, but Kaley Cuoco has figured out a way to pull it off enough for me to be okay with that and not take her off this list, giving her one of the recurring spots from last year. I still prefer seasons 1 and 2 Penny to any other seasons, but Cuoco brings a magnetic charm to Penny's character that I can't ignore. Normally, Penny would be the type of person that I wouldn't want to be around, as I find it hard to tolerate people that can be SO stupid and rely on their looks (particularly if they're total drunks like Penny). However, I find myself liking the character and not being frustrated with her. Bernadette is more my speed, but in a room full of people, Penny would stand out first above all others, I'm sure, and it's predominantly based just on pure sex appeal.

Side note: a moment of silence, please, for all of the photos previously deleted off Kaley Cuoco's iCloud before The Fappening happened. You will be sorely missed.


7) Maggie Langston (Devin Kelley) from Resurrection

Although some names on this list point to the contrary, I prefer my girls to be more on the humble, cute, smart and nice side rather than the sexy bombshell. Maggie Langston represents the first group of personality traits very well, so if her character continues on the same path like it was in the first season, I'm sure I'll spend the next batch of episodes fawning over her once more. The only reason she wasn't picked for last season's list, by the way, was that Resurrection made its debut after I had written the article, so I had no idea what type of character she would be.



8) Zelda Vasco (Cristin Miloti) from A to Z

It's been established multiple times in my life that I'm totally Ted Mosby from How I Met Your Mother, so if you give me Cristin Miloti in pretty much anything from now on, I'm going to like her based off her Tracy character from that show.

A to Z is essentially a poor ripoff of HIMYM and she's playing the same character, but with lesser quality writing. What isn't there to like, then?

It's a shame the show is too quirky for me to probably be able to handle watching the rest of the season (or series, if it gets picked up for another season).


9) Brittany Dobler (Rebecca Rittenhouse) from Red Band Society

Admittedly, I probably would get too annoyed with her cutesy-ness after a while, but if I bumped into this girl at the hospital, I would undoubtedly have an infatuation with her. She's peppy and her heart is in the right place. Plus, she's easy on the eyes. Jordi's mom is super hot and I would have a huge crush on Emma Chota (Ciara Bravo) if I were younger, but all things considered, if I had my pick of the primary characters, Brittany would be the one I'd go for.



10) Iris West (Candice Patton) from The Flash

After only two episodes where she hasn't been too much of a focal point, it's tough to pinpoint specifics for why I like Iris West, but I do. Obviously, Candice Patton herself is beautiful, so as with everyone above, that is the foundation for a lot of this. By the end of the season, it might turn out that that's the entirety and that her character doesn't have all that much more substance beyond it. However, I would venture a guess to say that if they keep her smiling and not being vindictive, she could end up growing on me in a lot of other ways. I'm not ignoring Danielle Panabaker, who is very attractive in her own right, but given a choice, I'd pick Iris.


There you have it! Ten of the women that are on my television screens that I can't help but have a thing for.