Fanboys Anonymous

Welcome to another edition of 6 Flicks Picks, wherein I list all of the upcoming films that are scheduled to be released in the United States for the month which is about to begin and break down which ones I'll be watching in theaters, which ones I'll wait to rent at home, and which ones I'll be skipping out on entirely. After going through the list, I'll choose which six films stand out to me as the ones I want to see the most, even if there are more or less than six that interest me.

Note: The list below is based primarily off the expanded nationwide USA release dates on IMDB as well as some other random outlets if possible, so some information may be different. If I am missing some of the limited releases or the dates conflict in some fashion, please let me know in the comments below and any adjustments and corrections will be made!

Without further ado, another new month means another new set of films, so what's coming soon to theaters in December 2015?



Krampus

Synopsis: A boy who has a bad Christmas ends up accidentally summoning a Christmas demon to his family home.

Will I watch? = No

Chi-Raq

Synopsis: A modern day adaptation of the ancient Greek play Lysistrata by Aristophanes, set against the backdrop of gang violence in Chicago.

Will I watch? = No

The Letters

Synopsis: A drama that explores the life of Mother Teresa through letters she wrote to her longtime friend and spiritual advisor, Father Celeste van Exem over a nearly 50-year period.

Will I watch? = No

Macbeth

Synopsis: Macbeth, a Thane of Scotland, receives a prophecy from a trio of witches that one day he will become King of Scotland. Consumed by ambition and spurred to action by his wife, Macbeth murders his king and takes the throne for himself.

Will I watch? = Maybe

Youth

Synopsis: A retired orchestra conductor is on holiday with his daughter and his film director best friend in the Alps when he receives an invitation from Queen Elizabeth II to perform for Prince Philip's birthday.

Will I watch? = No

A Royal Night Out

Synopsis: On V.E. Day in 1945, as peace extends across Europe, Princesses Elizabeth and Margaret are allowed out to join the celebrations. It is a night full of excitement, danger and the first flutters of romance.

Will I watch? = No

The World of Kanako

Synopsis: As former detective Akikazu searches for his missing daughter, Kanako, he soon learns she has a mysterious secret life.

Will I watch? = /No

Life

Synopsis: A photographer for Life Magazine is assigned to shoot pictures of James Dean.

Will I watch? = No

Hitchcock/Truffaut

Synopsis: Filmmakers discuss how Francois Truffaut's 1966 book "Cinema According to Hitchcock" influenced their work.

Will I watch? = No

Christmas Eve

Synopsis: Hilarity, romance, and transcendence prevail after a power outage traps six different groups of New Yorkers inside elevators on Christmas Eve.

Will I watch? = Maybe

MI-5

Synopsis: When a terrorist escapes custody during a routine handover, Will Holloway must team with disgraced MI5 Intelligence Chief Harry Pearce to track him down before an imminent terrorist attack on London.

Will I watch? = No


In the Heart of the Sea

Synopsis: Based on the 1820 event, a whaling ship is preyed upon by a sperm whale, stranding its crew at sea for 90 days, thousands of miles from home.

Will I watch? = Maybe

The Big Short

Synopsis: Four outsiders in the world of high-finance who predicted the credit and housing bubble collapse of the mid-2000s decide to take on the big banks for their lack of foresight and greed.

Will I watch? = Maybe

The Lady in the Van

Synopsis: A man forms an unexpected bond with a transient woman living in her car that's parked in his driveway.

Will I watch? = No

The Dark Horse

Synopsis: An emotionally charged and inspiring drama about a man who searches for the courage to lead, despite his own adversities - finding purpose and hope in passing on his gift to the children in his community.

Will I watch? = No


Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip

Synopsis: Through a series of misunderstandings, Alvin, Simon and Theodore come to believe that Dave is going to propose to his new girlfriend in Miami...and dump them. They have three days to get to him and stop the proposal, saving themselves not only from losing Dave but possibly from gaining a terrible stepbrother.

Will I watch? = No

Star Wars: Episode VII - The Force Awakens

Synopsis: A continuation of the saga created by George Lucas and set thirty years after Star Wars: Episode VI - Return of the Jedi (1983).

Will I watch? = Yes

Sisters

Synopsis: Two sisters decide to throw one last house party before their parents sell their family home.

Will I watch? = Maybe

Son of Saul

Synopsis: In the horror of 1944 Auschwitz, a prisoner forced to burn the corpses of his own people finds moral survival upon trying to salvage from the flames the body of a boy he takes for his son.

Will I watch? = No


The Hateful Eight

Synopsis: In post-Civil War Wyoming, bounty hunters try to find shelter during a blizzard but get involved in a plot of betrayal and deception. Will they survive?

Will I watch? = Yes

Joy

Synopsis: Joy is the story of a family across four generations and the woman who rises to become founder and matriarch of a powerful family business dynasty.

Will I watch? = Maybe

Daddy's Home

Synopsis: A mild-mannered radio executive strives to become the best stepdad to his wife's two children, but complications ensue when their freewheeling and freeloading real father arrives, forcing him to compete for the affection of the kids.

Will I watch? = No

Concussion

Synopsis: In Pittsburgh, accomplished pathologist Dr. Bennet Omalu uncovers the truth about brain damage in football players who suffer repeated concussions in the course of normal play.

Will I watch? = Yes

Point Break

Synopsis: A young FBI agent infiltrates an extraordinary team of extreme sports athletes he suspects of masterminding a string of unprecedented, sophisticated corporate heists. "Point Break" is inspired by the classic 1991 hit.

Will I watch? = No

The Revenant

Synopsis: In the 1820s, a frontiersman, Hugh Glass, sets out on a path of vengeance against those who left him for dead after a bear mauling.

Will I watch? = Yes


Which films make the cut?

Honorable Mentions. There are 11 films that I would check out this month, but the overwhelming majority of them are things that I'm not too interested in. More specifically, there seems to be an emphasis on movies that I feel take themselves very seriously for Oscar contention, but could be far up their own ass and too pretentious for me to actually like.

Point Break and Daddy's Home are teetering on the edge of "maybe", but I just don't have any faith they'll be good. I can't even remember if I've seen the original Point Break, so there's no nostalgia rush I'm seeking with that. As far as Will Ferrell goes, despite Old School and Stranger Than Fiction being in my movie collection and films I love, he has a bad track record with me as his antics fall victim to the trap where the comedian does the same old shit repeatedly and I didn't find it funny the first time, let alone the fiftieth. It will take a lot of good word of mouth to get me to watch that. The same goes for Sisters, as I'm not fond of 30 Rock and while the pairing of Amy Poehler and Tina Fey was great on SNL (as was Will Ferrell), beyond that, I'm not interested.

Macbeth is a great story, but having already read the play and seen Ian McKellen's version, do I really need to sit through all that again? I prefer Hamlet.

In the Heart of the Sea is something I really think could be awesome, but I have zero interest in movies about boats and submarines. Honestly, every single movie revolving around those has been something that I found difficult to sit through. I don't enjoy the claustrophobic atmosphere, but even with space movies or something like 12 Angry Men, there's something to distract me. Most movies about a boat or a submarine are entirely about the boat or submarine—a topic I don't find entertaining. I'm not a car guy, either, so if you showed me a movie about a mechanic I'd be twitching in my seat. The visuals look amazing and it's caught my attention, but considering the subject matter, I'm hesitant.

Speaking of boring subjects, holy hell does The Big Short seem more like I'd be reading a textbook than watching a movie. Moneyball almost got me interested enough to watch, but I put it off and never got around to it. This....meh. In a month that has the next Star Wars movie, you're not going to make me want to spend $10 on something about mortgage rates and bank etiquette no matter how many big stars are in it.

6. Joy — This is a tough one. I thought both Silver Linings Playbook and American Hustle were okay, but I really don't see what's so fantastic about them. In fact, if I never would have seen those movies, I don't think I'd be missing out on anything. They're entirely forgettable, so this team isn't giving me crap, but equally isn't giving me much to be excited about. After watching this trailer, I'm left unenthusiastic. If this gets Oscar buzz in any way, I'll check it out, but this could be the third strike for this collection of David O. Russell, Jennifer Lawrence, Bradley Cooper and Robert De Niro before I call it quits.

5. Christmas Eve — I like movies with this kind of concept. I still haven't seen A Long Way Down, but it's on my list, and I've checked out both Valentine's Day and New Year's Eve. Those two aren't fantastic, and I wouldn't expect this to be groundbreaking and my favorite movie of all time, but as a means to eat up two hours of my time with something that has some laughs and some heartfelt moments, this could be a nice breather of a film to watch around the holidays as well as a decent date movie.

4. The Hateful Eight — To be perfectly honest, I'm not thrilled about this. While Reservoir Dogs and Pulp Fiction are two of my top favorite movies and I enjoyed both parts of Kill Bill, I haven't really been digging much else that Quentin Tarantino has been doing. Inglorious Basterds is overrated to me and Django Unchained was okay, but too long. Neither film has made me want to revisit watching it again. Grindhouse was an interesting experience watching it in theaters, but Death Proof inside it was an absolute bore I almost fell asleep in and doubt I will ever watch again in my life. The story presented to me with The Hateful Eight just doesn't strike me as particularly interesting. I can't help but think that this will be too much like his past two films. Since I don't care as much about the art of bringing a film genre to life (particularly resurrecting the western, as I don't like those) I'm just blah about it. That being said, it's still Quentin Tarantino, so I'm sure I'll be checking it out at some point just in the hopes that I'm wrong and I end up loving it.

3. Concussion — Without seeing the trailer, if you had told me that there's a movie about football concussions, I'd pass. After watching it, though, I think Will Smith could put on an Oscar-worthy performance. I'm genuinely curious about this in a way much more than I ever would have expected. With all the other serious dramas on this list, this is the one that I feel could be the easiest to digest that has the highest chance of me appreciating it.

2. The Revenant — Good lord, this is either going to be absolutely amazing and a movie that I have the utmost respect for, or it's a piece of gutter trash that I can't stomach. To reiterate what I mentioned before, I appreciate art, but I also don't like it if a movie forgoes entertainment purely for the sake of art. If this is more about how it was filmed with natural light and less about how I can enjoy watching the story unfold, then it could end up being as badly received on my end as The Tree of Life. Like with Will Smith, I'm curious about Leonardo DiCaprio's Oscar chances, so that's a big motivator for me to watch this.

1. Star Wars: Episode VII - The Force Awakens — Come on. COME ON! This is fucking Star Wars for God's sake! I wouldn't be surprised if I saw this three times in December alone and I don't think I need to elaborate on anything about why I would want to see this movie. It's Star Wars. Done.