Fanboys Anonymous

Welcome to another edition of 6 Flicks Picks, wherein I list all of the upcoming films that are scheduled to be released in the United States for the month which is about to begin and break down which ones I'll be watching in theaters, which ones I'll wait to rent at home, and which ones I'll be skipping out on entirely. After going through the list, I'll choose which six films stand out to me as the ones I want to see the most, even if there are more or less than six that interest me.

Note: The list below is based primarily off the expanded nationwide USA release dates on IMDB as well as some other random outlets if possible, so some information may be different. If I am missing some of the limited releases or the dates conflict in some fashion, please let me know in the comments below and any adjustments and corrections will be made!

Without further ado, another new month means another new set of films, so what's coming soon to theaters in October 2016?



The Birth of a Nation

Synopsis: Nat Turner, a literate slave and preacher in the antebellum South, orchestrates an uprising.

Will I watch? = Maybe

The Girl on the Train

Synopsis: A divorcee becomes entangled in a missing persons investigation that promises to send shockwaves throughout her life.

Will I watch? = Yes

Middle School: The Worst Years of My Life

Synopsis: Imaginative quiet teenager Rafe Katchadorian is tired of his middle school's obsession with the rules at the expense of any and all creativity. Desperate to shake things up, Rafe and his best friends have come up with a plan: break every single rule in the school and let the students run wild.

Will I watch? = No

The Greasy Strangler

Synopsis: Ronnie runs a Disco walking tour with his son, Brayden. When a sexy woman takes the tour, it begins a competition between father and son for her love. It also signals the arrival of an oily strangler who stalks the streets at night.

Will I watch? = No

The Great Gilly Hopkins

Synopsis: The hilarious and big-hearted story about a headstrong girl who wants to find a place to call home. Gilly Hopkins (Sophie Nelisse) is the meanest girl in town: she has a birth mother she has never seen and has moved from one foster home to another. Learning that she will be sent to a new home, she wastes no time stirring up trouble. Then she meets a woman named Trotter (Kathy Bates) , who wants to be the mother Gilly needs. With Gilly posing a challenge, Trotter must prove a good relationship will benefit both of them.

Will I watch? = No

The Late Bloomer

Synopsis: Dr. Pete Newmans (Johnny Simmons) is a successful sex therapist whose practice is almost completely devoted to helping people re-channel their sexual impulses. When Pete is hit in the nether regions during a friendly basketball game, his doctors discover a pituitary tumor that has delayed Pete's onset of puberty for 15 years. Not only does Pete suddenly have an explanation for the various physical and mental issues that had been plaguing him, he undergoes what would normally be years of puberty in a matter of weeks. Mood swings, voice changes, acne and, of course, near uncontrollable erections greet Pete as he tries to navigate life as both a horny 15 year-old kid and a 30 year-old desperate to be a complete man and get the girl of his dreams.

Will I watch? = No

The Siege of Jadotville

Synopsis: Set in 1961, during the Congo crisis, Jadotville follows Irish general Pat Quinlan (portrayed by Jamie Dornan) and his 150 troops, whom Hammarskjold (Mikael Persbrandt) and the UN had sent to protect the city after Katanga.

Will I watch? = No


Underworld: Blood Wars

Synopsis: Vampire death dealer, Selene (Kate Beckinsale) fights to end the eternal war between the Lycan clan and the Vampire faction that betrayed her.

Will I watch? = No

The Accountant

Synopsis: A forensic accountant un-cooks the books for illicit clients.

Will I watch? = Yes

Kevin Hart: What Now?

Synopsis: Comedian Kevin Hart performs in front of a crowd of 50,000 people at Philadelphia's outdoor venue, Lincoln Financial Field.

Will I watch? = No

Desierto

Synopsis: A group of people trying to cross the border from Mexico into the United States encounter a man who has taken border patrol duties into his own racist hands.

Will I watch? = No

Max Steel

Synopsis: When teenage Max McGrath discovers his body can generate the universe's most powerful energy, he must bond with the only being able to contain it - a mysterious techno-organic extraterrestrial named Steel. United as the superhero Max Steel, the two friends must combat an alien menace and unlock the secrets of their past.

Will I watch? = No

Certain Women

Synopsis: A stirring look at three women striving to forge their own paths amidst the wide-open plains of the American Northwest: a lawyer (Dern) who finds herself contending with both office sexism and a hostage situation; a wife and mother (Williams) whose determination to build her dream home puts her at odds with the men in her life; and a young law student (Stewart) who forms an ambiguous bond with a lonely ranch hand (radiant newcomer Lily Gladstone). As their stories intersect in subtle but powerful ways, a portrait emerges of flawed, but strong-willed individuals in the process of defining themselves.

Will I watch? = No



Jack Reacher: Never Go Back

Synopsis: Jack Reacher must uncover the truth behind a major government conspiracy in order to clear his name. On the run as a fugitive from the law, Reacher uncovers a potential secret from his past that could change his life forever.

Will I watch? = Maybe

Ouija: Origin of Evil

Synopsis: In 1967 Los Angeles, a widowed mother and her two daughters add a new stunt to bolster their seance scam business and unwittingly invite authentic evil into their home. When the youngest daughter is overtaken by a merciless spirit, the family confronts unthinkable fears to save her and send her possessor back to the other side.

Will I watch? = No

Boo! A Madea Halloween

Synopsis: Madea winds up in the middle of mayhem when she spends a haunted Halloween fending off killers, paranormal poltergeists, ghosts, ghouls and zombies while keeping a watchful eye on a group of misbehaving teens.

Will I watch? = No

Keeping Up with the Joneses

Synopsis: A suburban couple becomes embroiled in an international espionage plot when they discover that their seemingly perfect new neighbors are government spies.

Will I watch? = No

I'm Not Ashamed

Synopsis: The Columbine Massacre of April 20, 1999 completely redefined America's view of the lives of high school students. Drawn straight from Columbine victim Rachel Joy Scott's words and journal entries, through the insight of her mother, Beth Nimmo, it is the true story of a high school student whose compassionate, caring faith caused her to reach out to fellow students including her killers who made her a target of their murderous plan.

Will I watch? = No


Inferno

Synopsis: When Robert Langdon wakes up in an Italian hospital with amnesia, he teams up with Dr. Sienna Brooks, and together they must race across Europe against the clock to foil a deadly global plot.

Will I watch? = Yes

American Pastoral

Synopsis: Based on the Pulitzer Prize-winning Phillip Roth novel, AMERICAN PASTORAL follows a family whose seemingly idyllic existence is shattered by the social and political turmoil of the 1960s. Ewan McGregor makes his directorial debut and stars as Seymour 'Swede' Levov, a once legendary high school athlete who is now a successful businessman married to Dawn (Jennifer Connelly), a former beauty queen. But turmoil brews beneath the polished veneer of Swede’s life. When his beloved teenage daughter, Merry (Dakota Fanning), disappears after being accused of committing a violent act, Swede dedicates himself to finding her and reuniting his family. What he discovers shakes him to the core, forcing him to look beneath the surface and confront the chaos that is shaping the world around him.

Will I watch? = No



Which films make the cut?

6. Jack Reacher: Never Go Back — Ironically enough, I would have to go back, because I never saw the first one. It looked like a generic soulless action movie from the trailers, so I didn't bother with it, but since it came out, I've heard some good things. As such, I would need to check that out first before going to see the sequel, but this is a very limited month and it edges out Kevin Hart: What Now? because comedy specials in a movie theater always feels weird to me, and I can't give Max Steel the last spot as it looks so childish.

5. American Pastoral — Ewan McGregor is underrated, Dakota Fanning has a ton of talent, Jennifer Connelly is still gorgeous and I'm sure she'll be great as well, and the tone of the trailer was nice and eerie, so again, on a limited month, this suddenly gets the #5 spot. If this were the summer, it probably wouldn't make the list until I heard some buzz, which I haven't yet.

4. The Birth of a Nation — Putting all of the controversy aside, this could be one of the biggest and most important movies of the year when it comes to the Academy Awards, so it's almost a must-see.

3. The Girl on the Train — I still don't have a clue what the hell this movie is about (although I'm assuming some girl is on some train at some point) and I like it that way. A few short synopses and being told it's "the next Gone Girl" and I'm intrigued.

2. The Accountant — Ben Affleck as a hitman with crazy intelligence? Yeah, I'm in.

1. Inferno — I loved The Da Vinci Code and while Angels & Demons didn't measure up quite the same, I enjoyed that a lot as well, so Inferno is the only movie out of this list I knew for sure I'll be checking out months ago. For a point in time, it was just this film and Gambit on my list for October, but we all see how the Ragin' Cajun turned out, so that leaves Tom Hanks and hopefully not that weird ass haircut from the first film.